Hey there! Have you ever had a reaction to something that felt completely out of character? Maybe someone said something that just got under your skin, and you snapped back, only to wonder, "Why did I react that way?" Or maybe you find yourself feeling panicked or anxious in situations that don’t seem to call for it. It's like a part of us takes over, even if we don’t want it to. Sound familiar?
Why Does This Happen?
Most of us carry emotional “baggage” from our past. And sometimes, these experiences—especially the ones we don’t fully process—get “trapped” in our minds and bodies. In the world of EMDR, we often talk about how unprocessed feelings and trauma can shape the way we react to things as adults. Those reactions? They’re often on autopilot. It’s not the “real” us but a part of us that learned to respond that way a long time ago.
Imagine, as a kid, if you were constantly trying to keep the peace in a chaotic home. You might have learned to please others to avoid conflict. Fast forward to adulthood, and now, whenever there’s tension, you might automatically jump into people-pleasing mode, even if it doesn’t feel true to who you are. That response is like an old “program” running in your mind, one that was installed way back when you were just trying to survive.
Our Reactions Aren’t Always Our True Selves
These trapped emotions are like echoes from our past, influencing our present. They can cause us to act in ways that don’t feel like “us” because, well, they’re not really us. They’re protective responses we developed to handle situations that no longer exist. It’s like we’re carrying around an outdated survival manual.
For example, if you were often criticized as a child, you might find yourself responding defensively to even mild suggestions or feedback. It’s not that you want to be defensive—it’s that a part of you expects criticism, so it’s always ready to protect you. That part of you is doing its best to keep you safe, but it doesn’t realize that it’s safe to let go now.
How Can We Break Free?
The good news is, once we’re aware of these patterns, we can start to change them. This is where practices like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which is a big part of MindCalmr, come in. These tools help us get in touch with those old, trapped emotions, so we can start to process and release them. When we process these emotions, we’re essentially “updating our manual,” allowing our true selves to come forward.
Here are a few ways to start:
Awareness: The first step is recognizing when you’re reacting in a way that doesn’t feel like you. Notice the situations or interactions that seem to trigger these automatic responses. Just being aware of them is a big step.
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself! It’s easy to get frustrated with these patterns, but remember, they served a purpose once. They helped you survive. Acknowledge that part of you with compassion.
Mindfulness and EMDR: Subscribe to MindCalmr.com “Beginner” for FREE, and try the Beginner EMDR Session.
Safe Connections: If you feel comfortable, share what you’re experiencing with others. Being heard and validated can help bring these feelings to the surface and process them. CoDA and ACA meetings offer spaces to connect with others who’ve been through similar experiences, creating a supportive community for healing.
Let’s Start a Conversation
I’d love to hear from you! Have you ever noticed yourself reacting in a way that doesn’t feel like “you”? How did you handle it? Or maybe you’re just starting to recognize these patterns. Either way, feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions in the comments. Let’s explore this journey together, one step at a time.
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